Striking a Balance

I have been busy lately, having to check in and out on a patient of mine. She's one of the few patient that I have under my care that is on my lists of home visits. I have been treating her since I started practising in this area. She was fine until a few days back when her health suddenly deteriorated. It was early this morning that she passed away. I wasn't surprised with the change of events but that doesn't make me any less sad.

I guess people does moves on and hopefully to a much better existence. I wonder as a person who has been constantly numbed with having to see so much negativity everyday, it's imperative that I keep myself sane and my spirits high. I always wonder what is the driving force that makes me want to wake up every morning and go to work? Is it the sole desire to make money? People would come to me for various stages of discomfort, pain and distress. I bet no one see so much negative energy and aura in a day and as curious as it may sound, financial gratification seems to be the least important driving factor behind my zeal, as crazy as it sounds, I think without compassion I will still be unable to force myself to be up, early in the morning and come to work.

But having said that, I am no angel, nor I am ruthless to only consider monetary compensation. I think as in any profession, what I am hunting for albeit unsuccesfully, is a sense of balance, financial gratification as well as being able to make a difference in helping the sick, infirmed or an uncomfortable person feel better. I might not be able to cure what is bothering the person, but at least I can do is to offer my kind words, my solace as well as my compassion, just like to the old lady that passed away this morning.

I prayed that I had in my 2 years of giving medical care to the old lady, helped her in some ways, hopefully alleviate her sufferings as well as treated her with compassion and care. To the her, I wish her farewell and goodbye, may god bless her soul and shine upon her.