25.7.2005
Another has dawned and I am sitting here waiting for something. Just what exactly it is, I am still perplexed, if not why am I sitting here everyday? Hmmm, anyway life is full of irony, I am hoping that business will become better in time, and am still waiting for that day to come. It's now close to 4.30 pm and I had seen only 7 patient so far. It's about the average number of patient this time of the day and I do think hopefully it would become better during the night. I have to put lots of faith in myself as well as my practice, and with a little luck, I am confident that it would turn out okay.
Well coming to the what is actually bothering me. My health is decline over the past few months. I am not exactly suffering from any major illness but my persistent discoid eczema is really getting to me. I think this is due to the enormous amount of stress that I have to cope with and as it is there is no actually medication that prevents this. I never used to have any skin problems but lately everything seems to be manifesting itself on me. I know for a fact that I am emotionally drained and spent, not to mention the amount of stress that I have to cope with is making this problem worst. I think I will have to see a dermatologist to seek a second opinion. I feel that when things are not going right, everything seems to happen at the same time, perhaps there is some ornate timings that makes every bad things happen at the most inappropriate time? Hmm, I wonder? I had actually self treated myself and it improving but lately the lesions are getting more and I will have to be more vigilant in applying the creams to the affected area. I reckon if I were to show it to the lay person, many would conclude that I might be suffering from AIDS or some sexually transmitted diseases but it's not. I too am afraid, not because I am sexually indiscreet which I am by the way, but merely because I have my fair share of medical and surgical mistakes that invariably result in self injury. I was always aware of contracting communicable diseases this way. But I had just taken my yearly blood test and also my profile and it's all normal, err apart from the elevated cholesterol levels. Apart from them I have some raised IgE and it would be expected so. Hopefully when all this is over I can take a well deserved rest and all my problems will dissolve away. I really pray that it would be just the way I envision it.
I reckon I have to apply more moisturisers on my body and I am the type that hate to apply anything on my body. I especially hate the oily creams but I think this is something that I need to do if I want my skin to improve. Only good moisturisers help in rehydrate the skin. Even I know this, I am reluctant but I have to psyche myself to do it, applying creams on my lesions are also not my favourite but I reckon in order to improve I have to force myself to do it.
It's nearing 5pm and I am still typing away in this website. I was asleep pretty late yesterday as I went to have some drinks with my friend. I think I need to sleep earlier as my body needs all the rest that it can get. I still have trouble sleeping and it's still the same even after so many months. I wonder what has my ex still play such an important role in my mind? I need to extrude her from my mindset and only with something to distract me will I be able to forget her. I think with my skin problem, unless I recover, I am not in the right frame to actually look for my other half and I think this is pretty reasonable. I have to somehow recover, which is why I am psyching myself up to recover. I could vividly remember that this illness of mind started when my mum started falling sick and also when I just broken off. Maybe with my comfort zone changing and also the stress of taking care of my mum with my clinic, my skin developed some allergies and they flared from there? I initally didn't even bother with it as most of the time it goes off by itself, but this is the biggy and hasn't gone after a few months. I think I have to try something more radical now that it has basically gotten worst. I reckon consulting a specialist is in the pipeline.
I am thinking about my ex less now, I feel I am moving on albeit still a little slow, at times I still think about her but I reckon it has become less. Perhaps my mind is preoccupied with what the heck is happening to me? I hope that even when I don't think of her too much, she would still be happy with her life. I pray that she will have a good life ahead and I pray that my medical problem would be okay in a month's time.
Well coming to the what is actually bothering me. My health is decline over the past few months. I am not exactly suffering from any major illness but my persistent discoid eczema is really getting to me. I think this is due to the enormous amount of stress that I have to cope with and as it is there is no actually medication that prevents this. I never used to have any skin problems but lately everything seems to be manifesting itself on me. I know for a fact that I am emotionally drained and spent, not to mention the amount of stress that I have to cope with is making this problem worst. I think I will have to see a dermatologist to seek a second opinion. I feel that when things are not going right, everything seems to happen at the same time, perhaps there is some ornate timings that makes every bad things happen at the most inappropriate time? Hmm, I wonder? I had actually self treated myself and it improving but lately the lesions are getting more and I will have to be more vigilant in applying the creams to the affected area. I reckon if I were to show it to the lay person, many would conclude that I might be suffering from AIDS or some sexually transmitted diseases but it's not. I too am afraid, not because I am sexually indiscreet which I am by the way, but merely because I have my fair share of medical and surgical mistakes that invariably result in self injury. I was always aware of contracting communicable diseases this way. But I had just taken my yearly blood test and also my profile and it's all normal, err apart from the elevated cholesterol levels. Apart from them I have some raised IgE and it would be expected so. Hopefully when all this is over I can take a well deserved rest and all my problems will dissolve away. I really pray that it would be just the way I envision it.
I reckon I have to apply more moisturisers on my body and I am the type that hate to apply anything on my body. I especially hate the oily creams but I think this is something that I need to do if I want my skin to improve. Only good moisturisers help in rehydrate the skin. Even I know this, I am reluctant but I have to psyche myself to do it, applying creams on my lesions are also not my favourite but I reckon in order to improve I have to force myself to do it.
It's nearing 5pm and I am still typing away in this website. I was asleep pretty late yesterday as I went to have some drinks with my friend. I think I need to sleep earlier as my body needs all the rest that it can get. I still have trouble sleeping and it's still the same even after so many months. I wonder what has my ex still play such an important role in my mind? I need to extrude her from my mindset and only with something to distract me will I be able to forget her. I think with my skin problem, unless I recover, I am not in the right frame to actually look for my other half and I think this is pretty reasonable. I have to somehow recover, which is why I am psyching myself up to recover. I could vividly remember that this illness of mind started when my mum started falling sick and also when I just broken off. Maybe with my comfort zone changing and also the stress of taking care of my mum with my clinic, my skin developed some allergies and they flared from there? I initally didn't even bother with it as most of the time it goes off by itself, but this is the biggy and hasn't gone after a few months. I think I have to try something more radical now that it has basically gotten worst. I reckon consulting a specialist is in the pipeline.
I am thinking about my ex less now, I feel I am moving on albeit still a little slow, at times I still think about her but I reckon it has become less. Perhaps my mind is preoccupied with what the heck is happening to me? I hope that even when I don't think of her too much, she would still be happy with her life. I pray that she will have a good life ahead and I pray that my medical problem would be okay in a month's time.
posted by mercuri2000 at
4:24 PM
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