16.7.2005
Today is a saturday and it has passed the middle of the month. I am not working today and I had a pleasant time the night before. I went to a place in one of the Suburb and had wine with a former classmate. We had Chilean wine and it was different as compared to the normal Australian wine that I am so accustomed to. The ambience is nice and the service deserves a pat on the back. I saw a lot of patrons and the number of wine afficionados are getting more and more. I believe just a few years ago, people add "sprite or 7Up to their wine! I felt so much better after the "cold" shoulder treatment from my ex. As much as I don't want to accept the fact that things are over, I have to owing to the way she treated me. As I have mentioned, people do change tremendously over time. I have the first hand experience yesterday.
Well I think I should jolt down the gist of what she replied to my message. It goes on and I quote" it's over and my message was cleared, stop sending me message and I am annoy" Wow the vocabulary sucks and I reckon I was really taken aback with the reply. I replied saying that it wasn't my intention to make her angry, and my sole intention was to wish her a happy birthday and to enquire about her wellbeing. She replied something to the effect that she had moved on and no longer loved me, also she is happier and thank me in advance for not contacting her anymore, also all communication from now onwards will be "discarded"? whatever that means? I reckon I should accept that she has changed dramatically over the course of a few months. I am of the opinion that it's really intriguing that she can overcome the emotions "way" so fast!
I have no options but to consider this issue closed. I just think it would be good to remind me in the future to be aware of females of this sort. I am not saying that she is bad to the core, far from it, I still think that she is a nice girl deep inside but acted this way because of some innate protective mechanism. She has done something that IMHO seems to stretch this a bit far. I feel that she is a player now and this is exactly what suites her best. In a way I am no longer attractive to her in the sense that I know her personality to the core and it's then she needs to find some other man for a "test drive" and to see if that man can provide for her the things that a normal person can't. I am concerned that she will never be happy and will be continously hurt not to mention cheated and "used". But alas all this concern turns to naught and she is officially on her own. I don't think my intention will be appreciated and I reckon volunteering in my part is silly and stupid.
I came to learn some dark secrets about my ex and I think it's something that eventhough I suspected and know, I still covered all the signs and information with my love for her. I feel that a normal person wouldn't act the way she acts. Who in the earth would call and haress my friends asking them not to mix with me? Ordinarily I would want to think that my other half have all the confidence in me and will let me mix around with whoever I want. I am not the type that flirts around nor I am interested in seeing other people once I am commited. I reckon I am the type that is fiercely loyal when I am commited and in this case I am, I have quarreled with my family who thinks that she is too immature for me. I defended her naturally as I trusted her against my sisters information about her "indescretion". I still believed her thought although intellect tells me overwise. I think all this is unimportant at this juncture.
I wish her all the best and will pray that she won't be hurt anymore. Also I want to stress that if she do want any help whatsoever I would extend my full assistence to her in whatever that she need.
Saturday is my rest day and I woke up at 9am, and I surmise that my rhythm of waking up at 7am every morning is making me unable to sleep anymore even when I want to. I woke up albeit feeling a bit tired and had my obligatory cup of coffee. I then decided to go for a morning jog in one of the lake garden around my home. I ran for around 35minutes and feeling slightly exhausted with my lack of sleep and I think I barely ran a distance of 6kms? I think I will need to improve on my stamina and endurance to run a longer distance in a few weeks time. I use to run an average 15kms a day every alternate day and now I am no longer able to cover that distance. I think all my work and business commitment is taking it's toll on me. I need to buck up! I went for my favourite curry noodles in a market and I totally enjoyed the hot and boiling meal. I reckon eventhough this place is filthy I still enjoy the exquisite laksa. I went home and showered and then rest and doozed off after a while, woke up at around 2 pm and wanted to ask a friend to go out for a movie but he is unable to go as he is still sleeping! haha, I reckon the weekend for guys my age is basically used for resting and catching up with beauty sleep! I subsequently took a nap and then went for tennis at 7pm. I was supposed to attend a medical conference at 6pm but I decided against it as I am not up to sitting in a lecture for a few hours. The drug representative came on friday night to invite me again to attend it but I wasn't that enthusiatic although if I may add is a good and noble way to get to know more people. They actually nudge me to attend with the intention of introducing some colleagues to me. I am thankful that they are helping me get over my previous relationship. I think I should try making it to more drug talks and conferences next time, who knows, I might get to know some nice and potential females there?
I went for tennis and my muscles are cramping. I had a good time hitting the ball and I think it is good that I sweat a little bit more over the weekend. I think I would make it a point to at least jog or go for tennis at least once a week. I need to take my mind out of my failed relationships. I went back after dinner and took a shower before adjourning to go watch "the Fantastic 4", not particularly a memorable movie but a good watch nonetheless. Came back at 2am and went to bed after that. I hope that tomorrow would be a good day. Another long day beckons tomorrow.
Well I think I should jolt down the gist of what she replied to my message. It goes on and I quote" it's over and my message was cleared, stop sending me message and I am annoy" Wow the vocabulary sucks and I reckon I was really taken aback with the reply. I replied saying that it wasn't my intention to make her angry, and my sole intention was to wish her a happy birthday and to enquire about her wellbeing. She replied something to the effect that she had moved on and no longer loved me, also she is happier and thank me in advance for not contacting her anymore, also all communication from now onwards will be "discarded"? whatever that means? I reckon I should accept that she has changed dramatically over the course of a few months. I am of the opinion that it's really intriguing that she can overcome the emotions "way" so fast!
I have no options but to consider this issue closed. I just think it would be good to remind me in the future to be aware of females of this sort. I am not saying that she is bad to the core, far from it, I still think that she is a nice girl deep inside but acted this way because of some innate protective mechanism. She has done something that IMHO seems to stretch this a bit far. I feel that she is a player now and this is exactly what suites her best. In a way I am no longer attractive to her in the sense that I know her personality to the core and it's then she needs to find some other man for a "test drive" and to see if that man can provide for her the things that a normal person can't. I am concerned that she will never be happy and will be continously hurt not to mention cheated and "used". But alas all this concern turns to naught and she is officially on her own. I don't think my intention will be appreciated and I reckon volunteering in my part is silly and stupid.
I came to learn some dark secrets about my ex and I think it's something that eventhough I suspected and know, I still covered all the signs and information with my love for her. I feel that a normal person wouldn't act the way she acts. Who in the earth would call and haress my friends asking them not to mix with me? Ordinarily I would want to think that my other half have all the confidence in me and will let me mix around with whoever I want. I am not the type that flirts around nor I am interested in seeing other people once I am commited. I reckon I am the type that is fiercely loyal when I am commited and in this case I am, I have quarreled with my family who thinks that she is too immature for me. I defended her naturally as I trusted her against my sisters information about her "indescretion". I still believed her thought although intellect tells me overwise. I think all this is unimportant at this juncture.
I wish her all the best and will pray that she won't be hurt anymore. Also I want to stress that if she do want any help whatsoever I would extend my full assistence to her in whatever that she need.
Saturday is my rest day and I woke up at 9am, and I surmise that my rhythm of waking up at 7am every morning is making me unable to sleep anymore even when I want to. I woke up albeit feeling a bit tired and had my obligatory cup of coffee. I then decided to go for a morning jog in one of the lake garden around my home. I ran for around 35minutes and feeling slightly exhausted with my lack of sleep and I think I barely ran a distance of 6kms? I think I will need to improve on my stamina and endurance to run a longer distance in a few weeks time. I use to run an average 15kms a day every alternate day and now I am no longer able to cover that distance. I think all my work and business commitment is taking it's toll on me. I need to buck up! I went for my favourite curry noodles in a market and I totally enjoyed the hot and boiling meal. I reckon eventhough this place is filthy I still enjoy the exquisite laksa. I went home and showered and then rest and doozed off after a while, woke up at around 2 pm and wanted to ask a friend to go out for a movie but he is unable to go as he is still sleeping! haha, I reckon the weekend for guys my age is basically used for resting and catching up with beauty sleep! I subsequently took a nap and then went for tennis at 7pm. I was supposed to attend a medical conference at 6pm but I decided against it as I am not up to sitting in a lecture for a few hours. The drug representative came on friday night to invite me again to attend it but I wasn't that enthusiatic although if I may add is a good and noble way to get to know more people. They actually nudge me to attend with the intention of introducing some colleagues to me. I am thankful that they are helping me get over my previous relationship. I think I should try making it to more drug talks and conferences next time, who knows, I might get to know some nice and potential females there?
I went for tennis and my muscles are cramping. I had a good time hitting the ball and I think it is good that I sweat a little bit more over the weekend. I think I would make it a point to at least jog or go for tennis at least once a week. I need to take my mind out of my failed relationships. I went back after dinner and took a shower before adjourning to go watch "the Fantastic 4", not particularly a memorable movie but a good watch nonetheless. Came back at 2am and went to bed after that. I hope that tomorrow would be a good day. Another long day beckons tomorrow.
posted by mercuri2000 at
12:53 PM
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