Into the first week

Well, time really flies, it has been a week since my mum passed away, and it feels just like yesterday when she was literaly forcing the huge glass of milo with a raw egg into my mouth. I remembered this distinctly as I was a sickly child then when I was still in school. The yucky and uncooked egg gave me an unpleasant after tatse that can be still tasted even up to now. Well memory lingers on. That was so long ago. Gosh! It almost felt like yesterday.

Mum is gone, dad is gone, and now I am alone. It's been a unprecedented week for my whole family, emotions ran high, tempers flared when opinions differed. I reckon everyone wants to be heard, some want to conduct the proceedings in a strict vegetarian set up, others wanted roast pork for fear of not being grandiose enough, Some want the traditions and taboos followed to a "T". For me, I would want things to just be focused on one important thing, the bottom line is, mum is laying inside the caskets and trivial things like this are being argued? How superflous and ludicrous can people get? Frankly I shed tears, nay, it was actually streaming, pretty unlike me. I am supposedly quite used to witnessing things like this, but I reckon it's different. I am human after all, having all the emotions all bottled and cooped up inside me. I am no less a man that I am now.

In all fairness, I need to confessed that I felt a sense of relieve when she passed away. I reckon she is no longer suffering here and whereever she is going, it would be to a much better place. As Buddhist we believed that she has been relieved from her sufferings and whatever dues that she owed in her pass life has been paid in full. I understand and believed it from the bottom of my heart. I will continue praying for mum and will do my part to carry on the family name. Meanwhile the profound taste of the milo and the eggs is bringing a tear in my eye and make me miss mum more. I will not let you memory be in vain.