Moving On

The sound of paper being torn away from the thick calender indicate yet another day. The thickness of the calender is getting thinner due to the advancing days racing towards yet another new year. It has been more than half a year since I initiate counting the day that I broke off with my girlfriend. Is my feeling still echoing what I felt the exact day more than 6 months ago or have I moved on?

Everything in my mind now happens to be in a blur, the reasons that we broke off is all but lost in my distant memories. Speckled memories retain and it sort of supplanted the reason why I decided to call it quits after dating for more than a year. I had known her for many more years prior to being linked romantically and emotionally towards her. It's funny that bad memories tend to lapse into the unknown once time plays its role on diluting the anger and the feeling at the heat of the moment. The sarcastic retort and sardonic display of anger and verbal lashings tend to loose all it's significance with the onslaught of time. I will not go into specifics and I reckon it's immaterial at the present moment.

It has been half a year and what is my current state of mind? Have I moved and carry on with my life? I think not. I am still having some flashbacks of the happier times when we shared together. It's comical what fate plays it's hands on mortals like me. At that time the best thing that I could think off was to break it off, but now, after having some time to actually cool off and rearrange my thoughts, it doesn't feel like what I did is even remotely right.

But there is a limit what a bloke like me can do. Did I regret and feel remorseful? I don't actually have a clear cut answer or one with a resounding yes. It's true that I miss my ex, it's even truer that I really loved and still harbour this intense feeling for her but I reckon splitting up would be for the better. There are too many variables as well as too many that made me arrive to this conclusion. We didn't have any communication and trust and I surmise this is actually the cause of the fallout.

If and if given another chance, what would I do? I think this will only be answered in time. Meanwhile I am on my journey to move on. As mention by Neil Armstrong, "One small step is one giant leap for mankind". My small step would hopefully free me from the shackles of my ex. Will I reach the finishing line and will I be completely free? Only time will tell.