top 10 "misses" of 2008
1) My Dad
It has been so many years since my dad passed on way back in '85. I still have memories of him but it has become increasing difficult to recall all the fond memories. Time is really screaming away at lightning speed and I find it difficult to play catch up with it.
2) My Mum
She passed away 2 years back and it seems like a life time. I still recall about her and dad once a while and it is kinda sad when you think of it. Ah well, hopefully they are in a much better existence.
Yup, age is advancing and as time is scarce, having to work and all, I hardly find time to exercise. I used to make it a point to go for a run after work but during the past few months, I haven't had the urge to do it. Maybe a part of it is due to the issue of safety since there has been a spat of robberies and muggings in the garden where I used to jog at 10pm at night, or perhaps it's the act of being lazy that has been plaguing me, or the constant aches that I develop. I reckon part and parcel of growing older.
4) Relationship and the intimacy associated with it.
yup still as solo as I can be, it felt especially bad when I am lying on my bed, wide awake and wondered what happened? I cannot remember how it felt like being intimate and close to someone I love. The bed will be empty and cold especially when the chilly breeze blasts from the conditioner. Wonder if 12 months from now, would I be contemplating about what went wrong again?
Every single one of my buddy is married, the last of the last whom happen to be my best buddy, just tied the know on Boxing day. I am happy for him, as he has finally settled, but it's bittersweet as I know that I am currently without even a compadre who can at least take some slack off me.
I am not what I used to be. I am currently hypertensive, and i had initiated treatment myself. Age has taken a toll on my health, although I am asymptomatic, I find developing high blood pressure at 38 is really nothing to be happy about. I tried changing my lifestyle, have more rest, less stress and exercise more but sad to say, the pressure is still not ideal after all that. After seeing one of my friend develop high blood, stroke, diabetes, both eyesight blindness, bilateral kidney failure with amputated toe, it suddenly dawned upon to me that life passes by ever so quickly and we are merely transiting here.
one of the most important misses is I am unable to sell my invested properties. I had contemplated and actually taken every possible angle into account but sad to say that the recession that is happening now is earlier than I initially anticipated. So I am now stuck with having to pay mortgages right under my nose!
8) A good night's sleep
I haven't had a good night's sleep for so long, it's not to say that i haven't slept at all but rather the sleep that someone can have, on and on and on. The sleep that makes u totally relaxed and at peace with everything, where you don't need to wake up by a specific time.. really haven't had one of those for so long.
I love backpacking and trekking. But I haven't been doing that for a very long time, ordinarily I would prefer taking the train and stopping at every station and explore to see what do they have to offer. Ever since practicing in private, the freedom to do anything is bound by the commitments that I have to my patients and my practice. It makes me wonder when is it going to end.
10) my mind
Yup, have been getting more and more forgetful lately. Perhaps I have early onset dementia? At times i cannot recall what has actually transpired in the last few months. I might not have Alzheimer per se, but maybe all can be traced to my lack of "sleep" and too much stress? I certainly hoped so, I don't want to be like Denny Crane with his "Mad Cow's"....