Fed up

have been trying to avoid posting in this blog, but to no avail. I was so worked up with my stress level that i trashed my notebook. It is now certified koyak. As it is, i have been rather stressed lately, business is slow, as per usual, but on top of that, i have been having sleepless nights. To date my properties are not handed over and it has sort of compounded my anger.

I haven't lashed out a lot lately as i have been trying to internalised what stressed and unpleasant things that i have encountered. I reckon i need to just drop everything and backpack around the world. I had declined the offer of working in Western Australia as the time factor is not at all practical for me. I need to drop everything I have and shift in 2 weeks time. How can i drop everything?

So what can i do? I wonder at times if I am losing it? Just the other saturday, i attended a friends's wedding reception and it was by far one of the most awkward wedding that i've the pleasure of attending. I went alone, without even knowing anyone that I sat with in the table. Needless to say, I ate very little, and left after the 3rd dish.

I am a loner, that much i know, I have been trying to move on, and to get to know more people but to no avail. I think my only option now is to work and work and work and immerse my thoughts in work and nothing else. With this I may even retire in a few years time, not that I'll have a comfortable life, but I reckon I need to change my life.

Just have to constantly remind myself about the light at the end of the tunnel. Just a few more year, just a few more years.